Mercury in 5th

Content warning: this article may not be suitable for those allergic to astrological concepts. The next entry is guaranteed to be safe.

It all started with Mercury. 
 

I mean: on 1/1 of 2020, my computer up and died. The sudden extinction of my main work tool and archive location for both my translating and filmmaking careers, halfway through a big job, no less, was a definite Event. The great thing is*, when something like this happens to an astrology student (someone who also studies other forms of symbolic/sympathetic correspondence languages), it can be taken as an invitation. Which I did.
(Not always an option, but at that time, I happened to have the emotional grounding to do so.)
* famous 'search for silver lining' motto of the marvelous Giovannie

The big astrological event on the horizon at that moment was the Pluto/Saturn conjunction in Capricorn on January 12. With my still rudimentary astro skills, I discovered this huge planetary moment was landing in a prominent place on my chart: exactly opposing my native Mercury in Cancer. (It turns out Pluto had been challenging that part of my chart for some time already.) Lucky for me, I was around my astrologer mom that week and thus able to talk it out with her for a pro perspective on this personal transit. One interpretation: the invitation could be taken as a moment to examine the current expression of my personal Mercury energy.

What is Mercury energy? You can find this all over the internet (let alone astrology books), but to summarize, Mercury is the archetype that encompasses communications of all kinds, including between different realms, as well as commerce, data, exchange of ideas, fast thinking, short-term travel, daily life, ritual, logic, sibling and cousin relationships, close friendships. But my personal Mercury is in the house of self-expression and creativity, and because it's in the sign of Cancer, how the energy of Mercury expresses itself in me is inherently very personal and connected to my emotional self. [Case in point: all of my scripts were born out of personal experiences (which then bloomed into their own fully fictional entities).]

What to tangibly do with this data is a whole other story. This is the territory – of... witchery? personal development work? creative exploration? whatever you want to call it – that is completely DIY. If you decide to respond to an invitation of this sort, there are countless ways to go about it.

I started basic. While my computer was at the shop*, on a Wednesday (miércoles/mercredi - Mercury's day), I rearranged my altar to incorporate some mercurial correspondences (i.e. stones, herbs, colors, etc. that have been associated with Mercury/Hermes for centuries). I pulled a card from my favorite oracle deck. “TRUST”. Reassurance that I didn't need to have the answers yet. Ok.

I thought I'd start by committing to doing at least one thing every day to 'please Mercury' (read: to activate that archetypal energy within), like write, connect with close friends**, respond to important emails, read the news, etc.
*it was the logic board. THE LOGIC BOARD! symbolism hilariously on point.
**I want to expressly thank the WhatsApp gods for aiding me in this endeavor.

I continued my exploration.
In looking at February transits, I noticed that the upcoming Mercury Rx would station retrograde exactly conjunct my Ascendant in Pisces. This was particularly significant, of course, given that my attention was already on the silver-footed planet. There's barely anything on the internet about interpretations of transits that conjoin your Ascendant (and my mom wasn't much help here; she doesn't do that kind of astrology). 

Again: no one could tell me what to do. Of course Mercury in Pisces is all about intuition, reading symbols, yadda yadda. I was like, ok. How about I extend my commitment to work with Mercury from 3 weeks to 3 months? I live my life seasonally anyway. Let's spend the winter working with this, seeing where the trail of cosmic breadcrumbs* lead me. Also, let me make a priority of my existing dream analysis practice.
*phrase regularly used by Pam Grossman and topic of an upcoming "open flow" essay

Fast-forward to the present moment (after many contemplative hikes, convos with friends, and a writing retreat): 

This is what came out of my Mercury retrospective. A commitment to start publishing personal essays again – in a consistent fashion. (My family and closest friends likely know what I mean by this; I've been doing this kind of writing on and off since my late teens, as looong group emails first, then blog stints during different times of my life.) 

In astrological terms, Mercury is one of the strongest planets in my chart (it's conjunct the Sun in my 5^th house, both square Pluto, and my moon is in the 3^rd). This shows in my innate language abilities (of the 5 I speak fluently, only 1 was difficult to learn), the many close friendships I've maintained throughout my life, my inclination to ritualize, and that which I've been slowest to acknowledge: my orientation and desire to write, always write, to understand and be understood.

Two things about this renewed personal essay practice:

- Although it's lovely when people read what I write, I'm doing it because this kind of writing offers me a different kind of processing and exploring than journaling and screenwriting do. From the outside, it might not make sense for a single mom already strapped for creative time to commit to an entire new undertaking. But, and this leads me to the second thing...
- Consistency is a key ingredient here. In the big picture, I see myself as quite a consistent person, someone who has long known her values and purpose and the way she desires to move through the world. I'm not someone who needs to constantly reinvent herself or chase new pursuits. My feelings don't tend to waffle. It may take me forever to follow through on them, but many of my long-term goals stick. And yet, and yet: if there is one element that has been missing in my communications, in my daily life, in my close friendships, it's consistency.* Some of this is unavoidable (I'm a freelancer, most of my beloved friends live in different cities, filmmaking requires very different things in its different stages, among other things), but I want this commitment to allow me to develop a little consistency in this realm of my life.
*On this note: I'm very open to hearing how others manage to consistently tend to their emails, text messages, WhatsApp, and friendships on a weekly basis. I formally solicit your advice on this. (Lest it be unclear -- I abhor unsolicited advice!)

In any case, this first explanatory essay is decidedly self-indulgent. I vow not to make this the norm.